about my blog name ...riskherd

the name riskherd is because somewhere in this last 50 years we learned to take risks ... with d.i.d. this can be so very hard .... herd has two meanings ... we are alot of folks in one head thus a herd ... more important our shepherd is the Lord and we try to live a life we can go to bed at night with as little shame for our actions of the daylight hours ... as a person i can not even try for perfection ... that is simply impossible ... only our Lord was perfect ... we in this body simply try to follow him . try to understand life through our faith in him and his loveing kindness ....

many people would probibly say how can you believe in god when you were so utterly abused ? simply this Jesus was also hurt and abused to purchace us back for father god ... he understands ...

most of my therapy was christian with a therapist who was also a pastor .... his teachings and support have brought us to a point of healing where we no longer believe suicide is the only way out . where we can remember things and most are happy ... yes the painfilled memorys are still there but the lord has provided us with a new ability to focus on the good things in life .

our life is full and rich with many blessings . we have an artistic talent that many people consider very awesome and when we feel less stress we are also skilled in writeing too ..... we have been trying to figure out how to point this blog where we want the focus to be .... we have also been working up the courage to really relate just the truth of how and who gave us this high level of healing .... we want to help others to understand about d.i.d. i was doing some research earlier and one person of aprox 100 have some form of this ... it's not some obscure strange thing . many people had learned to cope well enough they arn't really aware of haveing this ....

where as i knew for most of my life there were others inside and simply assumed everyone else had others too .... for a short few years we were not aware . then a major crisis crashed the whole deal and we had to get help .... we were lost alone and had no idea who or how to get help ...

then god stepped in and there was our pastoral therapist .... we learned to get along inside to co--operate communicate and hold fast to the faith we had from early childhood .... these sheep may be my herd but we have given the lord ourselves and faith walk as we do our best to follow him .... there are times we mess up so bad and feel rotten about it ... yet the lord still finds blessings to provide us with ... faith walking is a slight risk , if you hold fast to the faith that god will provide and come rescue us when we get stupid and blow it ....

he is true love and pure forgiveness ... he our god is an awesome god and he will hear everyone who calls upon his name ... it's not that he makes stuff super easy all the time it's he's right there when we remember to call upon him for help ... the struggles give us room to grow stronger and learn new abilitys ... so as my big 50 is soon to come to visit we want to be as open about our faith and our daily doings ....

with to hope to help others to understand a problem with mental health , haveing a mental illness is not a crime is not a sin and many people have them yet feel they have to hid them to be accepted ... this is simply not true . the people who might walk away or not accept it are not very good friends in the first place ...

i have not hidden my d.i.d. for close to 15 years now . it was too hard to keep track of what lame excuses i'd given to all the diffrent people ... i have plenty of very good friends , an awesome husband a loveing daughter and a family who accepts me .... what more can anyone ask for ... people who are scared about it ... may stay away or keep trying to understand this thing ... don't listen to the media that trys to sensationalize this ... most of us could be sitting next to you on the bus and you could have a brief chat and you would never know that that person has mpd / d.i.d.